What I was feeling...

I cannot believe that she will not be mine... I cannot fathom the sadness I myself am in. I try to forget her, I attempt to leave her behind but I cannot. I throw party after lavish party hoping that she will arrive and find me, and leave that horrid man she is with and come to me. But now, as I stare out into the crowd of people who have arrived in anticipation of one of my grand gala's, I do not see her. I doubt I will ever see her. She could never leave her husband for a nobody like me, but I at least have to try. I have to make sure that she knows how I feel... but I am terrified of what may happen afterward... who is to know what could happen; but no matter what could happen, I will find out the truth; I will attempt to make her mine again.